Oh the childhood song that we used to sing over and over when we road the bus to school as children- before middle school of course because by then the songs sang on the bus were far more obnoxious and annoying. Like this is a song that never ends.... and I know there were other annoying songs that would just repeat over and over until the kids finally reached their destination. If you can recall other ones please feel free to post them in the comments. The reason why buses are in my mind today is because today for the first time I decided to take the bus down to south campus. Great decision, because now I can waste time on my lap top and create a blog and listen to a bit of Demitri Martin. Anyways, when I climbed the stairs to board the bus I was still semi confused on how the bus system worked. I was on my phone talking to my mother, and the whole thing was packed. So I had one hand up to my head holding my phone and my other hand was tightly clasped around the bar rail. I had no desire to fall so I was trying to keep my legs firm- I'm a tiny girl so this whole standing and bus riding thing was really difficult, but I wasn't going to ask for someone to move, because that would be rude. And on top of all this I'm talking to my mother on the phone.
The next stop came up and one person got off. Two other guys were still standing but they didn't immediately take the seat. I half way expected one of them to sit down, because they were standing in the bus before I even got on. They both kinda looked at me, and I simply asked, "Do you mind if I take that seat?" And they both were like, "Of course." I was so relieved, my arms aren't really strong and I was on the phone and I had a heavy back pack. It was really nice of them. Thank you kind strangers on the bus for giving me the seat on the bus. I will remember the feeling of relief and satisfaction I got for getting a seat- if I ever see some that is struggling to stand in a bus more than I would I'll be sure to give them my seat.
And not to contradict my previous Feminist blog, but that was a nice form of chivalry. Maybe it's not dead. Maybe it's not a bad thing like I had always just assumed. Hmm, maybe I should start wearing skirts and being more feminine. But then again I don't think that anyone has to follow social roles, but maybe they should... I dunno. All I know is that the wheels on the bus go round and round and that I need to get a good seat in my psych class that is starting up inn 15 minutes. Well that was one of my experiences that I had today.
Oh and let me know what you think on the topic of social roles, chivalry, and bus etiquette.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Quick Blog Update
Hey I'm just going to post a quick blog before I head off to my math class, but as many of you know or should know after this I have a had my best friend Marissa from the time that I was 12 to now- inching toward 19. I am so grateful for her friendship everyday, even when we don't talk for weeks I always know that I can go to her when I'm having a problem, feeling lonely, have some fabulous news, or I just need an ear to listen. She is amazing because she has been able to see me grow up from a nerdy purple rimmed glasses wearing middle schooler, to a high school rowing nerd. I am lucky, not every person gets to have such a good friend. I just wanted to publicly express how awesome she is :D She is just as much of a sister to me as my biological sisters are to me. Here is a link to her blog, which is fantastic- she's super insightful and she's just a really good writer in general. Check out her Note: Arranged Friendships. It's super cute and I hope this makes you remember a time when making friends was easier. It did for me. http://marissasumire.blogspot.com/ And then check out a few songs of the day.
Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional
Swing Swing by All American- Rejects
Don't Stop Believing by Journey
Just some happy songs to get your day onto the right track everyone. And now I'm off to Quantitative Reason- just shoot me :/
Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional
Swing Swing by All American- Rejects
Don't Stop Believing by Journey
Just some happy songs to get your day onto the right track everyone. And now I'm off to Quantitative Reason- just shoot me :/
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Conflicting Feeling
by Deanna Jennifer D'Alessandro on Friday, February 19, 2010 at 12:02pm
You are so pationate
To find
The apathy of the mind
But what you lack
Is an ease and flair
Of the ability not to care
You wish you could let
Your feelings go
Bury them all deep below
But your heart
Holds fast
To the things that happened in your past
Your mother kissing
Your brothers brow
Haunts your dreams even now
Hiding what you hate
Won't chase your woe
It shall only make it grow
Until you face the pain
And let it become real
You will never know how to feel
To find
The apathy of the mind
But what you lack
Is an ease and flair
Of the ability not to care
You wish you could let
Your feelings go
Bury them all deep below
But your heart
Holds fast
To the things that happened in your past
Your mother kissing
Your brothers brow
Haunts your dreams even now
Hiding what you hate
Won't chase your woe
It shall only make it grow
Until you face the pain
And let it become real
You will never know how to feel
TV Families
Family is just about the most important thing as far as this life is concerned if you ask me. Why is it then that when family is portrayed by the media and tv shows, all the families have dysfunctional families? I have a few theories. 1.) There are dysfunctional families and they don't want to watch shows about perfect families. 2.) People want to show what the family dynamic has become. 3.) They are idealizing the messed up family.
Where did the dysfunctional family dynamic start showing up on television? I think the first time a mixed family, or family that actually argued showed up on television was in the 70's with the Brady Bunch. This mostly happy family sitcom was one of the first families that wasn't mom, dad, and children Beaver Cleaver family dynamic. The Brady bunch had a mother named Carol, she had three daughters, but her first husband died. Then Carol met Mike Brady who had three sons of his own. The two parents fell in love and mixed the two families together. It showed a few difficulties that could occur from having a mixed family. The kids were definitely separated for the most part into girls and boys. I feel like that is the way things are in many families that come from separate families. Another show that showed a more modern dynamic to the mixed family is Life With Derek. This was a Disney Channel show that used to air. A mother with her two daughters married a lawyer with two sons and a young daughter. The five children all had to get used to each other and to the new parent. Casey the oldest daughter in the family was often correcting the two parents on their parenting skills, because she thought she could do a better job. She also believed that the life she had with her first father was better than the current life that she was living. Lizzie, Casey's younger sister, was more willing to become a part of the whole family. She made friends with Edwin the middle brother of her new family. Marty was very young and quickly adjusted to the new family dynamic, but Casey and Derek had the hardest time adjusting to the new life.
Is this family dynamic realistic? Or is is just to make people think that is the way a mixed family is like? I think that it's pretty accurate. Of the families that had step parents and siblings often separated, sometimes subconsciously to their original family, rather than joining the new unit. Yes television is glamorized and ends every show with the kids growing closer at the end and showing a nice new bond. That doesn't always happen in real life- I'm not bashing mixed families many turn out to be fantastic, but it isn't always a 30 minute happy ending sitcom.
Another family style that is popularly portrayed on television is the single parent. It has been portrayed both as a mother and her children, and as a father with his children. In many Disney Channel shows and original movies there is one parent, either because the parents got a divorce or one of the parents died. In The Suite Life of Zach and Cody the two twin boys are being raised by their mother. She got a divorce for her musician husband that is always on the road and too busy to be a parent. The boys get into minor trouble, and Mr. Mosby one of the employees at the Tipton hotel where the family lives, often tells Zach that he will end up in jail if he keeps behaving the way he does. I'm not sure if this is actually based upon real families with a single parent, but that is what Mr. Mosby says. Then there is also the show iCarly on Nickelodeon, that also shows the effects of a single parent dynamic. Unlike the Suite Life, Carly the child on iCarly is being raised by her older Brother Spencer who is 20-something, because Carly's mom died and her father is at war. Carly is given plenty of love by her brother, but she is definitely not getting the discipline that many other kids would get for doing things that she does. She often stays out very late, and she also has her friends living at her house, and she sneaks into private places. I realize that it is just a tv show, but it does show a possible effect of a broken family.
As for my questions that I had at the beginning of this Blog- I do think that due to the 50% divorce rate in America the broken family and mixed families have become a novelty. People want to be able to relate to the people that are on television. Because so many families are mixed, matched, and broken in America the media has tailor made their shows to appeal to those families. I think that these shows are also intended to portray to adults and children what the American family has become. I think that it helps kids that are growing up in a broken home to feel better about their situation. And I think it makes kids that aren't living in a broken family to idealize those families.
Is it wrong to turn something that Christians as a whole consider wrong into a commodity? Is television effecting the divorce rate? Should there be more shows that portray "regular" families? I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know. I personally feel like the television should be taken a source of entertainment. Think of it as a fictional story. It is not real, and it isn't something that isn't supposed to be replicated. Even "regular" and "stable" tv families still aren't a realistic way of living on the most part. I'm not saying that a mixed or broken family is bad. It all depends on the groups situation. I also am not saying that all stable families or families with married parents are any better or worse than a single parent. It's just odd to me that the family dynamic is different for everyone. Nobody's family is exactly like mine. And my family isn't exactly like everyone elses'. I just hope everybody can love the people that are called their family and to support each other in what is best for them.
That's hard to do most days of the week, but family should be a group of people that all have the best interest for everybody else. Don't forget what really matters.
Where did the dysfunctional family dynamic start showing up on television? I think the first time a mixed family, or family that actually argued showed up on television was in the 70's with the Brady Bunch. This mostly happy family sitcom was one of the first families that wasn't mom, dad, and children Beaver Cleaver family dynamic. The Brady bunch had a mother named Carol, she had three daughters, but her first husband died. Then Carol met Mike Brady who had three sons of his own. The two parents fell in love and mixed the two families together. It showed a few difficulties that could occur from having a mixed family. The kids were definitely separated for the most part into girls and boys. I feel like that is the way things are in many families that come from separate families. Another show that showed a more modern dynamic to the mixed family is Life With Derek. This was a Disney Channel show that used to air. A mother with her two daughters married a lawyer with two sons and a young daughter. The five children all had to get used to each other and to the new parent. Casey the oldest daughter in the family was often correcting the two parents on their parenting skills, because she thought she could do a better job. She also believed that the life she had with her first father was better than the current life that she was living. Lizzie, Casey's younger sister, was more willing to become a part of the whole family. She made friends with Edwin the middle brother of her new family. Marty was very young and quickly adjusted to the new family dynamic, but Casey and Derek had the hardest time adjusting to the new life.
Is this family dynamic realistic? Or is is just to make people think that is the way a mixed family is like? I think that it's pretty accurate. Of the families that had step parents and siblings often separated, sometimes subconsciously to their original family, rather than joining the new unit. Yes television is glamorized and ends every show with the kids growing closer at the end and showing a nice new bond. That doesn't always happen in real life- I'm not bashing mixed families many turn out to be fantastic, but it isn't always a 30 minute happy ending sitcom.
Another family style that is popularly portrayed on television is the single parent. It has been portrayed both as a mother and her children, and as a father with his children. In many Disney Channel shows and original movies there is one parent, either because the parents got a divorce or one of the parents died. In The Suite Life of Zach and Cody the two twin boys are being raised by their mother. She got a divorce for her musician husband that is always on the road and too busy to be a parent. The boys get into minor trouble, and Mr. Mosby one of the employees at the Tipton hotel where the family lives, often tells Zach that he will end up in jail if he keeps behaving the way he does. I'm not sure if this is actually based upon real families with a single parent, but that is what Mr. Mosby says. Then there is also the show iCarly on Nickelodeon, that also shows the effects of a single parent dynamic. Unlike the Suite Life, Carly the child on iCarly is being raised by her older Brother Spencer who is 20-something, because Carly's mom died and her father is at war. Carly is given plenty of love by her brother, but she is definitely not getting the discipline that many other kids would get for doing things that she does. She often stays out very late, and she also has her friends living at her house, and she sneaks into private places. I realize that it is just a tv show, but it does show a possible effect of a broken family.
As for my questions that I had at the beginning of this Blog- I do think that due to the 50% divorce rate in America the broken family and mixed families have become a novelty. People want to be able to relate to the people that are on television. Because so many families are mixed, matched, and broken in America the media has tailor made their shows to appeal to those families. I think that these shows are also intended to portray to adults and children what the American family has become. I think that it helps kids that are growing up in a broken home to feel better about their situation. And I think it makes kids that aren't living in a broken family to idealize those families.
Is it wrong to turn something that Christians as a whole consider wrong into a commodity? Is television effecting the divorce rate? Should there be more shows that portray "regular" families? I don't know. I don't know. And I don't know. I personally feel like the television should be taken a source of entertainment. Think of it as a fictional story. It is not real, and it isn't something that isn't supposed to be replicated. Even "regular" and "stable" tv families still aren't a realistic way of living on the most part. I'm not saying that a mixed or broken family is bad. It all depends on the groups situation. I also am not saying that all stable families or families with married parents are any better or worse than a single parent. It's just odd to me that the family dynamic is different for everyone. Nobody's family is exactly like mine. And my family isn't exactly like everyone elses'. I just hope everybody can love the people that are called their family and to support each other in what is best for them.
That's hard to do most days of the week, but family should be a group of people that all have the best interest for everybody else. Don't forget what really matters.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Haunted
Do not shutter at the sight.
Take it in and see the results
Of what you did
Now Now- it doesn't hurt so bad.
Let the crimson drip
Down to your finger tip
Sleep now alone in your dusty room
Beneath your bed are monsters
Inside the closet there are ghosts
The bed you sleep in is full of blood
Can you brush away the cobwebs?
Can you heal the cut?
When you wake the sun shines black
Behind your head
Your hair once gleamed in the light
Now it just falls flat on your shoulders
Tangled and split
Cut it all off and start over
Your fingers throb as they shed
The red tears of pain
Stop bandaging up these pains
Let them ache and show
Maybe now they can help you
Maybe now you can just bleed out
Why don't you just let them bleed out?
Take it in and see the results
Of what you did
Now Now- it doesn't hurt so bad.
Let the crimson drip
Down to your finger tip
Sleep now alone in your dusty room
Beneath your bed are monsters
Inside the closet there are ghosts
The bed you sleep in is full of blood
Can you brush away the cobwebs?
Can you heal the cut?
When you wake the sun shines black
Behind your head
Your hair once gleamed in the light
Now it just falls flat on your shoulders
Tangled and split
Cut it all off and start over
Your fingers throb as they shed
The red tears of pain
Stop bandaging up these pains
Let them ache and show
Maybe now they can help you
Maybe now you can just bleed out
Why don't you just let them bleed out?
First Impressions
How many times have you had that relationship: friend, significant other, crazy uncle, what-have-you; where none of the people that have always been the first people you would usually go to thought was either a bad influence or a freak? I'm not sure exactly what brought this thought to my mind, but I feel like the people that I love the most and the people that really understand me the best don't always conform to the expectations of my family or even to my other friends. I know that it offends some of my friends when they aren't immediately adopted in by my parents or my other friends, but really all that matters is that you're my friend and that I like you in the first place.
I have been on both sides of this messy relational situational. I have dealt with not being accepted by peoples friends and I have had friends that didn't really care for some of my other friends also but some of my best examples come from my parents and the difficulties I have experienced with my friends' parents. I don't know if it's because my parents are a little overly judgmental and picky of the people that I'm friends with or what, but I know most of the people that I brought around the house throughout high school they didn't immediately jump and add them onto the family tree. The worst thing though was with my good friend Bortumie*. The trouble started with her first impression that she left on my parents...
It was Acker Night- a downtown Christmas tradition that my hometown did every year. Christmas lights, music, and every shop down town open till 10. Yes- my home town is full of old folks and is heavily dominated by morning people. Well Bortumie, Sumire (my best friend) and I were going to hang out. Bortumie spotted one of her friends and went off to hang out with her, while Sumire and I sang some carols with our school choir. When my dad came to drive us back to my house, Bortumie was no where to be found- we couldn't get a hold of her via cell phone and we also couldn't get a hold of her friend. My dad freaked to put it lightly- he is a father first and foremost and the idea that he lost a kid put a fear into that no one could imagine. Then from there on even little things like being late to events would drive my parents crazy--- conclusion on this story--- first impressions are everything. And even the best people can make a not so good one.
I make awful first impression all the time. The worst one that caused me most problems during my high school life was with my boyfriend at the time's parents. I don't know how I managed to make them think that I was an immodest seductress, but apparently I was out to turn their son into a dog. I think it was just the fact that I was so hesitant to actually going over to their home to do a dinner with their family- but at the time I just wanted to go on dates and have fun- I did not want to get involved with his family yet, because I had zero desire to put any pressure on our dating/relationship. But unfortunately because his parents along with other issues we fizzled out and I have never been able to have a normal conversation with his parents since then.
I think the reason why impressions are coming to my mind right now is due to a multitude of reasons. First of all, I would like to hope that not everyone has as big of problems getting making good impressions as I do- but also because I would like to hope that not everyone holds so tightly to the first impression that you get of someone. Someone that gives a radiant first impression could end up being a total jerk, or simply completely different than how you expected them to be, or vice versa, a person that made a terrible first impression could simply have been having an off day and is actually really awesome, or they are just shy. Either way I think that the first time you meet someone should not be the only time you take the opportunity to think about how they seem to you. And just a thought for the next time you are making a judgment about a person you are just meeting- they are doing the same about you. Just be calm, confident, and open.
I have been on both sides of this messy relational situational. I have dealt with not being accepted by peoples friends and I have had friends that didn't really care for some of my other friends also but some of my best examples come from my parents and the difficulties I have experienced with my friends' parents. I don't know if it's because my parents are a little overly judgmental and picky of the people that I'm friends with or what, but I know most of the people that I brought around the house throughout high school they didn't immediately jump and add them onto the family tree. The worst thing though was with my good friend Bortumie*. The trouble started with her first impression that she left on my parents...
It was Acker Night- a downtown Christmas tradition that my hometown did every year. Christmas lights, music, and every shop down town open till 10. Yes- my home town is full of old folks and is heavily dominated by morning people. Well Bortumie, Sumire (my best friend) and I were going to hang out. Bortumie spotted one of her friends and went off to hang out with her, while Sumire and I sang some carols with our school choir. When my dad came to drive us back to my house, Bortumie was no where to be found- we couldn't get a hold of her via cell phone and we also couldn't get a hold of her friend. My dad freaked to put it lightly- he is a father first and foremost and the idea that he lost a kid put a fear into that no one could imagine. Then from there on even little things like being late to events would drive my parents crazy--- conclusion on this story--- first impressions are everything. And even the best people can make a not so good one.
I make awful first impression all the time. The worst one that caused me most problems during my high school life was with my boyfriend at the time's parents. I don't know how I managed to make them think that I was an immodest seductress, but apparently I was out to turn their son into a dog. I think it was just the fact that I was so hesitant to actually going over to their home to do a dinner with their family- but at the time I just wanted to go on dates and have fun- I did not want to get involved with his family yet, because I had zero desire to put any pressure on our dating/relationship. But unfortunately because his parents along with other issues we fizzled out and I have never been able to have a normal conversation with his parents since then.
I think the reason why impressions are coming to my mind right now is due to a multitude of reasons. First of all, I would like to hope that not everyone has as big of problems getting making good impressions as I do- but also because I would like to hope that not everyone holds so tightly to the first impression that you get of someone. Someone that gives a radiant first impression could end up being a total jerk, or simply completely different than how you expected them to be, or vice versa, a person that made a terrible first impression could simply have been having an off day and is actually really awesome, or they are just shy. Either way I think that the first time you meet someone should not be the only time you take the opportunity to think about how they seem to you. And just a thought for the next time you are making a judgment about a person you are just meeting- they are doing the same about you. Just be calm, confident, and open.
Feminism?
Okay so this semester I decided to take a genders studies class and so far it is incredibly interesting. I have only been in the class for one week so far and I have already gone into depth on the ideas that may explain homosexuality, some intellectual differences between men and women, and whether any of these things are based upon social or biological influences.
For me I can hardly imagine completely believing that there are actually fully one or the other that influence the differences between men and women. I'm not some crazy feminist that think that Barbie dolls are the root of all evil in the relation to the way women are treated amongst men, but I also don't completely believe that we have achieved gender equality in America yet, and we definitely haven't achieve that in other countries like China, Africa, or Middle Eastern countries.
My personal politics- I think women are built weaker than men. I'm not saying all women are weak and dainty and can't handle labor related jobs, I'm just saying that the strongest man alive is stronger than the strongest woman alive. I also think that some women do a disservice to the entire sex. Playboy Bunnies and ditsy girls that resemble the lead character in clueless make the entire population of women appear to be bimbos with boobs. Personally, I myself am so different from girls like that, that I would hope never to be compared to someone that behaves in the manner that they do. Media is to blame for a lot of the prejudice against women. They love exploiting stories about girls and women that can't do things, but they are constantly pointing out how amazing and heroic men are, even though I know many men that are just as stupid and/ or vain as some women I know- sometimes even more so. Finally my final point on the differences with the two genders currently in place is that- I think that gender roles are the absolute worst thing to come onto this earth. How is it that people that really only have their reproductive organs as a real difference as far as vital organs go be considered so completely and utterly different? I don't think that makes any sense to be labeled as being completely opposite of the other.
So far my peers in the class have agreed with my opinions for the most part- I don't feel like any of them are so extreme not to agree- but where it really gets weird is the idea that biology and social opinions actually control the entirety of why different sexes are considered different. I think they both have parts that can influence seeing different genders separately. Men naturally produce more testosterone which naturally make them have deeper voices and large amounts of muscles. Women have been known to live longer than men and they have to deal with a period every month, and because of the way biology sets them up if they get pregnant they grow a baby inside of them for 9 months. Yeah these are obvious irrefutable biological differences- but are things like that really the reason why women tend not to have as many jobs in mathematical and science related jobs? Or is it also because they are still, even after two civil rights movements presented by the feminist party, social prejudices. Yeah I think there are. There is still this basic gender role of men= provider and women= caretaker.
I also think that it's not just men that pin prejudices of these sorts onto women. I think women do it just as much. Whether it be the way your mother raised you, to the way teachers treated students in their classes, to coaches and sports, etc. It's incredible how everyone is still living in the stone ages despite how much everyone really is trying (at least in the United States) to find equality. The things that I think people really need to think about, both men and women- men, respect women and support in whatever field they choose whether it be as scientific as being an astronaut or as powerful as being a construction worker or as wonderful as being a mother. These are all things history has shown women are able to do. Secondly women should definitely not forget that they are awesome and can do anything that they set their mind to. If a woman really wants to do something there is not reason not to go for it. The world is changing and if we keep pushing it into the direction of equality and respect I believe the world will be a much better place.
For me I can hardly imagine completely believing that there are actually fully one or the other that influence the differences between men and women. I'm not some crazy feminist that think that Barbie dolls are the root of all evil in the relation to the way women are treated amongst men, but I also don't completely believe that we have achieved gender equality in America yet, and we definitely haven't achieve that in other countries like China, Africa, or Middle Eastern countries.
My personal politics- I think women are built weaker than men. I'm not saying all women are weak and dainty and can't handle labor related jobs, I'm just saying that the strongest man alive is stronger than the strongest woman alive. I also think that some women do a disservice to the entire sex. Playboy Bunnies and ditsy girls that resemble the lead character in clueless make the entire population of women appear to be bimbos with boobs. Personally, I myself am so different from girls like that, that I would hope never to be compared to someone that behaves in the manner that they do. Media is to blame for a lot of the prejudice against women. They love exploiting stories about girls and women that can't do things, but they are constantly pointing out how amazing and heroic men are, even though I know many men that are just as stupid and/ or vain as some women I know- sometimes even more so. Finally my final point on the differences with the two genders currently in place is that- I think that gender roles are the absolute worst thing to come onto this earth. How is it that people that really only have their reproductive organs as a real difference as far as vital organs go be considered so completely and utterly different? I don't think that makes any sense to be labeled as being completely opposite of the other.
So far my peers in the class have agreed with my opinions for the most part- I don't feel like any of them are so extreme not to agree- but where it really gets weird is the idea that biology and social opinions actually control the entirety of why different sexes are considered different. I think they both have parts that can influence seeing different genders separately. Men naturally produce more testosterone which naturally make them have deeper voices and large amounts of muscles. Women have been known to live longer than men and they have to deal with a period every month, and because of the way biology sets them up if they get pregnant they grow a baby inside of them for 9 months. Yeah these are obvious irrefutable biological differences- but are things like that really the reason why women tend not to have as many jobs in mathematical and science related jobs? Or is it also because they are still, even after two civil rights movements presented by the feminist party, social prejudices. Yeah I think there are. There is still this basic gender role of men= provider and women= caretaker.
I also think that it's not just men that pin prejudices of these sorts onto women. I think women do it just as much. Whether it be the way your mother raised you, to the way teachers treated students in their classes, to coaches and sports, etc. It's incredible how everyone is still living in the stone ages despite how much everyone really is trying (at least in the United States) to find equality. The things that I think people really need to think about, both men and women- men, respect women and support in whatever field they choose whether it be as scientific as being an astronaut or as powerful as being a construction worker or as wonderful as being a mother. These are all things history has shown women are able to do. Secondly women should definitely not forget that they are awesome and can do anything that they set their mind to. If a woman really wants to do something there is not reason not to go for it. The world is changing and if we keep pushing it into the direction of equality and respect I believe the world will be a much better place.
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