First Impressions

How many times have you had that relationship: friend, significant other, crazy uncle, what-have-you; where none of the people that have always been the first people you would usually go to thought was either a bad influence or a freak? I'm not sure exactly what brought this thought to my mind, but I feel like the people that I love the most and the people that really understand me the best don't always conform to the expectations of my family or even to my other friends. I know that it offends some of my friends when they aren't immediately adopted in by my parents or my other friends, but really all that matters is that you're my friend and that I like you in the first place.

I have been on both sides of this messy relational situational. I have dealt with not being accepted by peoples friends and I have had friends that didn't really care for some of my other friends also but some of my best examples come from my parents and the difficulties I have experienced with my friends' parents. I don't know if it's because my parents are a little overly judgmental and picky of the people that I'm friends with or what, but I know most of the people that I brought around the house throughout high school they didn't immediately jump and add them onto the family tree. The worst thing though was with my good friend Bortumie*. The trouble started with her first impression that she left on my parents...

It was Acker Night- a downtown Christmas tradition that my hometown did every year. Christmas lights, music, and every shop down town open till 10. Yes- my home town is full of old folks and is heavily dominated by morning people. Well Bortumie, Sumire (my best friend) and I were going to hang out. Bortumie spotted one of her friends and went off to hang out with her, while Sumire and I sang some carols with our school choir. When my dad came to drive us back to my house, Bortumie was no where to be found- we couldn't get a hold of her via cell phone and we also couldn't get a hold of her friend. My dad freaked to put it lightly- he is a father first and foremost and the idea that he lost a kid put a fear into that no one could imagine. Then from there on even little things like being late to events would drive my parents crazy--- conclusion on this story--- first impressions are everything. And even the best people can make a not so good one.

I make awful first impression all the time. The worst one that caused me most problems during my high school life was with my boyfriend at the time's parents. I don't know how I managed to make them think that I was an immodest seductress, but apparently I was out to turn their son into a dog. I think it was just the fact that I was so hesitant to actually going over to their home to do a dinner with their family- but at the time I just wanted to go on dates and have fun- I did not want to get involved with his family yet, because I had zero desire to put any pressure on our dating/relationship. But unfortunately because his parents along with other issues we fizzled out and I have never been able to have a normal conversation with his parents since then.

I think the reason why impressions are coming to my mind right now is due to a multitude of reasons. First of all, I would like to hope that not everyone has as big of problems getting making good impressions as I do- but also because I would like to hope that not everyone holds so tightly to the first impression that you get of someone. Someone that gives a radiant first impression could end up being a total jerk, or simply completely different than how you expected them to be, or vice versa, a person that made a terrible first impression could simply have been having an off day and is actually really awesome, or they are just shy. Either way I think that the first time you meet someone should not be the only time you take the opportunity to think about how they seem to you. And just a thought for the next time you are making a judgment about a person you are just meeting- they are doing the same about you. Just be calm, confident, and open.